So the Daily Prompt did it again, it jogged my blogging (and venting) juices when it offered up ‘Superstition’ as the prompt. That, and I received a FB message saying: “This is for one of your blogs”, with this WONDERFUL e-card attached. It was from my VERY good friend 1orangevest, (she also has a WONDERFUL sense of humor, so checkout her blogs for some witty humor) who knows me entirely too well. So the fates have spoken on the topic, and here we go:
So I am quite well-known for making comments that people call “being negative”, “pessimistic” or having a “bad attitude”, but I disagree. I think there is a difference between being a pessimist, and a (snarkastic) REALIST. For instance, did you ever notice that when someone makes the infamous “is the glass half full or half empty” argument, no one bothers to mention or ask what the glass is half full or empty OF? I ALWAYS state that the glass is “half FULL…of SULFURIC ACID”. That’s when I’m lectured on “being superstitious” to which my response is always, “hey look, I’m not superstitious because bad things DO ALWAYS happen.”
My dad and mom used to lecture me the hardest on having a ‘good attitude’ and ‘don’t be superstitious’ etc. That is until around 2001. I have been a MAJOR tomboy my entire life, played tackle (American) football with the boys, competed in downhill skiing, rollerhockey, and many other rambunctious, DANGEROUS sports. Well after a series of evil and unfortunate events (that we will not discuss) in my life, my friends talked me into going out with them and trying ice skating. I agreed and said I always wanted to play real ice hockey, but instead they INSISTED that I use figure skates, instead of hockey skates, since I am “A GIRL!” Right before I left I jokingly told my parents “watch, I’m trying out a girly sport and I’m going to break something.” GUESS WHAT? I ended up catching a FREAKING TOE PICK in a rut made from hockey skates, tried to catch myself and *BAM* tore my rotator cuff and blew my shoulder completely out. I was on the table getting surgery a week later.
This is when my father decided to stop lecturing me on being superstitious, and instead coin me the nickname “The Dark Prophetess”. When my mom asked him “What? Why?” His response was “Carol, she’s not superstitious or pessimistic, she just has a 100% success rate of accurately predicting disaster!” This is why I always, expect the worst: when it happens, at least I’m (somewhat) prepared. If by some miracle, it doesn’t happen, then we are pleasantly surprised.
This, my friends, is why I ALWAYS stress to “JUST SHAVE your LEGS”, and don’t leave anything to chance. If a disaster happens, at least you will look nice in the Emergency Room. If you DON’T, then you will end up showing your shaggy legs and holier than Swiss cheese panties to both the ER AND the Operating Room…trust me (for more info see my first Blog on Just SHAVE Your Legs!)