It’s official: I have survived one MONTH in the blogosphere!!!! I have made it ’round the curve (there’s our beloved Daily Post prompt) and I’m am OFFICIALLY NOT a newborn blogger anymore… SHHHH I know I’m still an infantile blogger, but don’t bust my bubble yet.As Joe Cocker sang in 1968, it’s because “I’ve had a little help from my friends”. Who know there were so many neurotic, hairy legged loonies out on the web!!
This got me to thinking how HAPPY I am to have GIRLFRIENDS (just to make this idiot-proof as to my meaning, a “straight” plutonic friendship between two girls)!! There was a period in my early to mid teens where I was “one of the guys”, until I met girls who weren’t raging, boy-crazy HORMONES. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED being “one of the guys”, it meant riding on the hoods of moving vehicles, farting, wearing underwear outside of my clothes for laughs, and having buddies who’s names were “Pee, Shelf-butt & Panties” (who I’m still buddies with today). But girl friends don’t have the same taboos, and I LOVE it. So, without further ado, I give you the top reasons that girl friends and guy “Bromances” are different. I know for a FACT, that guys have things called “Man Laws” or “Dude Rules” which dictate things that are “not cool” to do. Us gals don’t have to worry about that.
In light of this (and to make up for my last depressing blog), I give you a partial list of how girlfriends are better than bromances:
Touching. I think it’s safe to say that girls are MUCH more touchy feely than guys. Sure, guys smack each others’ butts, fist and chest bump, but that’s all “macho guy stuff”. Women are naturally touch others when we talk, but we also don’t think twice before we put our arms around, hug, or heck, even kiss our friends on the cheek. And YES, the incident to the right DOES happen, we really do feel each others clothes, because that’s the only way to see how AWESOME it really is, by TOUCH.
- Bathroom Etiquette. Guys pee standing next to each other for crying out loud, but do you think they turn to the other guy and ask, “be honest, do you think these jeans make me look fat?” HECK NO (they would run away) !!! If one of those guys have a tag hanging out, I doubt any other guy in the restroom would even notice, let alone tell him or, GASP tuck it back in his shirt for him. Girlfriends, on the other hand, would not only answer your “do these make me look fat?” question, but they would ask your size to see if you could borrow a pair of theirs. Furthermore, most women in the restroom would advise you if anything were out of place, and spare you walking around looking the fool for the rest of the day.
- Sitting arrangements. Guys HATE sitting next to each other. In fact my brother-in-law has a “Man Law” that there “must be a chicky buffer (girl) between two dudes so no one is uncomfortable”. If there is no chicky buffer, they will leave an empty spot on the couch. Girls, on the other hand, jam 4 girls on a loveseat, and have a fifth lay across the laps of the other four because “that’s what laps are for”.
- Sleeping arrangements. If guys go on a road-trip, they need 2 guys in a room with two separate beds. If there are more guys than beds, the extras will elect to sleep on the floor so they don’t have to hazard the chance that some dude’s toe may touch another dude’s leg during the night… THE HORROR!! Then each guy has 10 minutes in the bathroom to shower & get dressed. Now girls can get away with packing 4-8 girls in a room, even if it’s only 1 king size bed in the room. The will fit at least 4 girls in that sucker, and if there aren’t enough pillows, we will just lay on nature “pillows”, each other’s butts! And if there’s not enough space on the bed, then there will be at least 2 girls on the floor, because everything is more comfy with friends. As for the bathroom, girls take FOREVER in the bathroom, but the plus is that we can have 3 in there at once: one will shower, the other will use the potty, and the third will be at the sink doing her hair/makeup. Hey we’re all girls, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.
- Humor. OK sorry guys, but I can only handle so much “guy humor”. “Pull my finger. What’s up? CHICKEN BUTT! That’s what she said!! Your Mama…” and guy movies like “Dumb & Dumber”. Guys laugh until their stomach hurts. Girlfriends tend to be a bit more imaginative and we create HOURS of “inside jokes”, interpretive dances, build a bonfire to burn our old bras (or ex-husband photos), sing musicals into our hairbrushes at 2 am, and laugh until we cry, and if it’s REALLY good, pee our pants a little.
I could go on for HOURS, but my in-laws are staying over tonight, so I have to make a halfhearted effort at being a decent hostess. Let me close in saying to my girlfriends new and old, far and near: I’ll always be here to give you a butt to lay on, loan you a clean set of clothes, make you laugh until you pee, or… wait for it… Just SHAVE your LEGS.