And again, Sexy Grandma stole my show. So I thought this time, I would give everyone an incite into how AMAZING she REALLY was, and is… tell more great spanking stories and explain WHY/HOW she became “Sexy Grandma”. 😉
So the Daily Post prompt came it at 8 a.m. sharp this morning as usual, and that’s the final stroke it took to make me deviate from the childhood story I began yesterday (Raised in Chaos… 7 Females = NOISE), which we will continue tomorrow or Saturday. The word was Generation. After all, the least I can do for a woman who has affected over 4 generations of people is give her another blog, so here we go.
Sexy Grandma was born right here in Cleveland, Ohio in 1920. Her parents were both immigrants who came over on the boat from Italian island of Sicily (as I’m SURE you guessed from my 10,000 Sicilian references). All I really know about my grandparents was that my grandfather did make some good wine during the Prohibition (an era in U.S. History where the Government stupidly outlawed alcohol for about 14 years). Ironically she found out YEARS later that her best friend Ruth’s father bought his liquor from Sexy’s dad during prohibition. Anyhu back to the story… She was the 4th of 10… yes I said 10… children. She had three older sisters, but they were pretty close, so she was a bit of an outcast, and a tomboy. The next 5 kids in the family were boys, whom she was close with. As a kid she was a great baseball player, and she is actually the one who taught my sisters and I to play baseball. Finally when she was 10, the last of the 10 kids were born, and she finally got a younger sister. It was grandma who gave her youngest sister the nickname “Tootsie”, which stuck so well that more people knew here by “Tootsie” than by her given name, Consetta, or Connie.
Grandma told me lots of stories about how World War II affected people. How her brothers went off to war, each one in a different aspect of the military service. Her brother “Gabby” who was always the “silly, musical Boscarello” was a Marine who fought in Iwo Jima and she always told us how happy they were that all he lost in that horrid battle was his eye.” I asked her how she coped with the stories of “boys who weren’t coming home” and she would dryly laugh and say “dancing”.
It was my beloved Aunt Tootsie (SexyG’s youngest sister) who would give me “the dirt” on the single, dating Grandma, She would tell me stories about how she (Aunt Tootsie) was a gangly 12 year old and she would get on a bus right behind Sexy Grandma and EVERY man’s head would turn as Grandma walked by, but of course Grandma never noticed. Aunt Tootsie relayed how grandma had a different set of boyfriends EVERY week. One set would come back on leave and they would dance the week away at the dance halls, and the next week would bring a new shipment back. But Grandma never got serious… until she met grandpa. He was in the army as a paratrooper. I tried calling SexyG now fo details, but her phone is off the hook (AGAIN) so we will leave it at “they fell in love, got married and also settled down in Cleveland, Ohio.
My grandpa was a very brave Cleveland Policeman. In fact he tended to go on patrol WITHOUT his gun, and was in the paper several times as “the Bull” since he would break down doors to save people, without a gun. They had 4 children: 2 boys and 2 girls, in about 7 years. Unfortunately “juvenile Leukemia” took out my grandpa “the Bull” on New Year’s Day when my mom was 12. If SexyG wasn’t tough before, she was sure going to be now, as she was left a widow to take care of a 14, 12, 10 and 8 year old. Grandma said her heart belonged to him, and never looked at another man, so she raised those kids herself. She went into survival mode and worked days, nights, whatever paid the bills.
I mentioned in yesterday’s blog (Raised in Chaos… 7 Females = NOISE) about Sexy beating me up (if you are new, I exaggerate things A LOT so when I say “beat”, I just mean a couple spanks on the bum, but beat makes the story better). The great thing about SexyG is that she was NEVER biased, she made sure every kid who was misbehaving got their butts reddened equally. She not only beat us 4 girls, but she also beat the snot out of my cousins, mom, aunts and uncles, but ALSO THEIR friends. It’s kind of funny (ie twisted and demented) to have non-relatives 10, 20 and 30 years older than me share their stories of how SexyG beat the snot out of them. Bringing me back to my one of FAVORITE story to when I met my very good friend “Quay”. When I first met “Quay” her mom told us, and her “they’re grandma beat the CRAP out of me when I was a kid”. Here’s the story.
My grandma had her 4 kids in bed, and her best friend Ruthie (mentioned earlier) came over with her two young nieces who needed a place to spend the night, and Ruthie had to work that night. Well, since SexyG ALREADY had 4 kids, she said “what’s 2 more” so they brought them into “the girls’ room” where my mom and Aunt Liz slept. “Dee” got put in Aunt Lizzy’s bed, and “Kay” was put in my mom’s bed. So my mom and aunt woke up to meet their new Best Friends in their beds. Well my mom and “Kay” were tired so they snuggled up and went to bed. “Dee” and Aunt Liz, however, couldn’t stop talking and then got a MAJOR case of the giggles. Well SexyG warned them ONCE (that’s all you get) by yelling “hush up and go to bed or else I’M COMING IN THERE”. Whenever a Sicilian matriarch says “or else I’m coming in there” that means or else you get BEAT. Well the girls didn’t listen and grandma grabbed a belt and started toward the girls’ room. SexyG always prided herself on being FAIR. She didn’t know which girls were causing trouble, so she was just going to whoop everyone. Well Dee and Aunt Liz knew what was coming, so they had time to throw their pillows under the covers and pad their rear ends. My mom and Kay, however, were legitimately sleeping and had no clue..until WHAM!! SexyG burst in, laughing maniacally (She ALWAYS laughed when she was whooping someone) and started belting the beds from left to right a few times.
As her four kids grew up, and the grandkids came, grandma made sure to “properly train” all of the grandkids. I remember being at my grandma’s home and my older cousin “Ape” (who I worshipped) and her friends spilled their makeup on grandma’s new carpet after she told them not to “play with it”. I’ll never forget being 4 years old and watching three 16 year-olds get whooped by, and run from, SexyG.
Thats was classic Grandma, tough as nails. When she moved in with us kids at 69 years old, I referred to her as “the mean grandma” and she would just LAUGH! One time, when I was probably 10, she cornered me after I had been bad (as usual) and went to spank me with my mom’s “spanking spoon” (a spoon shaped like a hand). Well I grabbed it mid-swat, wrenched it out of her hand and broke it over my knee. She walked away. I thought I won, so as I got up out of the corner and walked away, out came SexyG from NOWHERE with a METAL SLOTTED spoon that I couldn’t break, and took some nice ribbons out of my butt.
Of course she did more than beat us (tho those were some of the funniest memories). She made sure to teach every kid who would listen the important things in life:
- how to make a good spaghetti sauce
- to use a “little Olive oil” for pretty much everything
- kids need “a tiny red wine to build up their blood”
- to always “Put some Neosporin on it”
As we got older, when she hit her mid-80’s grandma started to mellow, “like a fine wine”. As our husbands came into the picture, they didn’t believe our “stories about the mean old lady”. This was about the time she gained her nickname. As we got older, and made real friends, we brought them home and they ALL fell in love with her. They would all come over to play poker at “Sexy’s house”. During one such game grandma was demanding everyone’s RED Poker chips. She was also wearing a red shirt, red pants and even a red visor. One of us asked, “Grandma, WHY do you like red so much? Her answer… went down in history:
She just giggled and said:
“Honey, I LOVE RED because it makes me feel SEXY!”
Of course that’s ALL I needed to hear. And THAT, my friends, was the night SEXY GRANDMA was born. And it spread like WILDFIRE! All of our friends would bring THEIR friends over and say “ask her why red is her favorite color?” and she would never disappoint. I even had a SHIRT made for her that said “Sexy Grandma”.As soon as my kiddos started talking, they referred to her as “Sessy” (that’s toddler for “Sexy”) and you can IMAGINE the looks on their preschool teachers’ faces when in came a 90 year old and my kids would yell “SEXY!!!!”
So as of today’s writing she is 95, and will be 96 in September. Her short term memory is pretty shot, but other than that she’s still sharp as a tack. She has been in a nursing home for about 2 years now, because she is a high fall risk, due to her stubborn insistence that she can still do everything herself lol! The hardest on her is that she finally is having trouble walking. But we keep her going… because she keeps US going. After all, the world needs more Sexy Grandma.